Bro - "You got a girlfriend, Marlan?"
Me - "Nope."
Mom - "He has terrible luck with women. He hangs out with this girl and he always tells me that they're just hanging out and they're not dating. He doesn't know how to date girls. He can't get her to go on a date with him. But they hang out."
Bro - "Yeah?"
Me - "..."
Mom - "Maybe you can help him? Ahahahaha. Just kidding."
Bro - (puts arm around my shoulders) "Man, just come visit sometime and we'll talk." (comes in close) "We'll talk. You'll get women. You've got to- There's a certain way you've got to talk to them. Women. I can show you how. Let me show you. I'll show you. Come by sometime."
Mom - "Yeah? You'll help him?"
Bro - "Of course I'll help him."
--At this point, single women gather around the dance floor as the bride prepares to throw the bouquet--
Bro - (pointing me towards the crowd of single women) "See that? There's a sea of single women right in front of you. Like any of them? They're all great ladies, I can tell you that. They'd all make a great girlfriend. And they're all single. Want me to help you with any of them?"
Me - "Um. Thaaaat's okay. Really. I'm okay. Really."
Bro - "But see? There are women out there. You just have to find them."